Archive for the ‘Life Success Tips’ Category

Energy guides action. When you are in alignment with your energy, meaning you are free of conflict, the right actions become obvious and extremely easy.    But when your energy is out of alignment, knowing what to do becomes difficult and daunting and the results are typically pretty disappointing.

What about the energy of excuses?  Excuses contain the energy of disempowerment.  Excuses help to create the victim mentality.

Why do we make excuses?  We make excuses for a variety of reasons.  First, we make them when we are unsure.  Second, we make excuses to avoid discomfort. But the reality is making an excuse actually creates more discomfort because we know that the excuse isn’t the truth.

Here’s a little exercise you can do this week.  Notice when you are making excuses. Now, you may notice that you are making excuses every single day.  Excuse making is really pervasive in our society, so don’t be surprised if you are noticing this  a lot.  Don’t be hard on yourself; just notice when you make an excuse.

Instead of letting the excuse stand as truth I want you to stand in your power.  All you need to do is to say, “I am not a victim, I am someone who stands in my power.  And as someone who is fully standing in my power, I want _______.”

Try this out this week and you are going to find yourself taking ownership and responsibility where before you were giving your power away.  In that place of ownership and responsibility is where you are going to feel in control, in alignment and in your power. Have fun with this!

Today, they all ended up on the front page of the New York Post.

For the last two years, Janet Powers, Owner and Founder of the Diva Toolbox has been diligently building her business, spreading her mission to empower and inspire women everywhere!

I had listened to Janet proclaim many,  many times she would interview Helen Reddy and she did!  And what did the dream do for her?

Today, she ended up on the front page of the New York Post referenced in the same article with Helen Reddy and Madonna.

Several months ago Janet contacted  Reddy and requested an interview.  Although, Reddy hadn’t done many, if any interviews in the US  she agreed.

In the interview, Reddy makes some interesting comments about Madonna and appears to blame her for not being able to find a decent bra.

In terms of the article in the New York Post, Madonna’s rep was quick to respond. You can see the full article here:  http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/helen_bra_vado_over_madge_2PaPLEKfpcUM2yyjzvm9PL

This article has put Diva Toolbox out in the spotlight.  The View, Huffington Post, Madonna herself and many, many others have been tweeting all day about this story.  In the end, this has created invaluable exposure for the Diva Toolbox and The Diva Toolbox Network.

It also means the hundreds of radio hosts that are part of the Diva Toolbox community gain valuable exposure as well.

Are you  interested in having your own radio show on Diva Toolbox Radio Network with me and hundreds of others? To find out more details, head to http://www.DivaToolbox.com.  Call Janet today and find out what having a show can do for you.  Make sure you mention my name for an extra special gift.

I had to share something that happened on Facebook today.

Here goes…I would love for you to give me your take on this so feel free to comment.

Early this morning I received an email from someone I didn’t know.  The email went something like this.

“Are you in the habit of befriending married men? Joe (not his real name)  is my husband so remove him from your list!!!!

Here is my response:

I run a business and “friend” anyone who requests a connection. I have a huge data base and it makes no difference to me if someone is married or not as I use Facebook for business purposes.

I’m sorry that his friend request to me has upset you but if you are uncomfortable with it you really should be discussing this with your husband and not me.

Wow…I couldn’t believe that she thought is was ok to address this issue with me,  a complete stranger rather than confronting her husband about the issues.

I kinda felt bullied by this women.  Almost as if she would come and beat me up if she knew where I lived and didn’t remover her husband from my friend list!

Navigating social media can be tricky especially when you use it for business and are in the habit of  “friending” everyone.

Hope this bully leaves me alone and any other women her husband has friended recently.

Have you ever been bullied on Facebook?  Got any other humorous stories you would like to share?  I would love to read them.

The other day I was on a coaching call with a client; I’ll call her Mary.  Mary was lamenting how she had so many weaknesses that prevented her from being successful in reaching her goals.  This isn’t the first time that I have heard this from Mary.  She often focuses on her perceived negative qualities and it has become a real stumbling block for her.

Do you have any qualities that you perceive as negative?  I used to. Heck, in fact if you asked me to make a list of all the qualities I have that some found annoying or just plain awful, I bet I could fill a page.

But what I have learned is that the same qualities that I thought of as negative are really strengths in the right circumstances. For example, say one of your perceived negative qualities is that you are a wimp.  When might being a wimp be a positive attribute?

I once read a story of a man who didn’t want to go drinking with his buddies because he was afraid to be in the car with someone who was drinking and driving.  He told his friends that he had a date…he was a wimp…he didn’t want to tell them he was scared to go.  That evening his friends got into an accident while driving drunk and one was killed.  Being a wimp saved his life.

When we separate ourselves into “good” and “bad” we fail to recognize the importance that all parts of ourselves are necessary.  When we can accept all parts of ourselves we can stop hiding…we can be who we are.  It is in the acceptance of the “perceived bad” that we are transformed.

What is it about women; they have the hardest time saying NO.  I used to be that way, but not anymore.  I learned there is real personal power in saying NO and not always doing what other’s ask of you.

Look, the reality is more than likely you are overworked, stressed out and at your wits end.  The requests pour in faster than you can keep up.  Your family demands your time, your job and coworkers demand your time and if you are an entrepreneur, well you understand the demands all too well.

The secret to getting rid of the feelings of overwhelm and dread is to learn to say NO to new commitments and to stop feeling guilty about it.

Want more time for what’s important?  Want to know how I did it?  Then keep reading and learn my simple tips to learn to say “NO” and mean it!

Tip #1:  Be Polite and Firm

There is no reason to be a b—ch about it!  A simple, “I’m sorry I can’t do this right now” is perfect.  You don’t need to be overly apologetic or defensive which is typically what newbie Noers do.  You vacillate between feeling bad that you have to say NO, to feeling angry that someone else is infringing on your life.

The trouble is it really is your own fault that you feel this way; when if you start learning to say NO you will see you reduce the stress and the burden of always being put upon.  Remember, you teach people how you want to be treated.  Standing in your power and saying NO is a way to show others that you are not at everyone’s beck and call.

Tip #2:  Don’t Justify Your Answer

In the beginning the people who ask the most will ask for an explanation.  You don’t owe them one!  I repeat, you don’t owe them one!

Recently, I was asked to be a speaker at an event.  I looked over my business plan for the year and new that it didn’t fit with my overall marketing plan.  I graciously thanked the person who asked me to speak and declined.  I didn’t justify the NO in any way, shape or form…and you don’t need to either.

A simple, “It doesn’t fit into my schedule” is a perfectly acceptable response.

If they push for a reason just repeat, “It doesn’t fit into my schedule.”  If they keep pushing walk away if you have too – they’ll get the message.

Tip #3: You Can Think About It

You might be uncomfortable with the idea of answering NO immediately.  If you want time to review your schedule, or think about whether this is something you want to do just say, “I need to check my schedule; I’ll get back to you.”

But remember you need to close the loop and get back to the person as soon as possible.  If you must decline in an email, that’s ok.

Most importantly, this tactic helps you avoid letting yourself be pressured into over scheduling your life and taking on too much stress.

Tip #4:  Remember To Take Time For You

There are only so many hours in the day.  This means whatever you choose to take on limits your ability to do other things. So even if you somehow can fit a new commitment into your schedule, if it’s not more important than what you would have to give up to do it (including time for relaxation and self care), you really don’t have the time in your schedule.

Taking time for you is one of the most important parts in learning to say NO.  When you give yourself the space to stand in your power, you are giving yourself the best gift of all.  Say NO and mean it and start feeling in control of your life!

Last night I attended the Celebration of Excellence sponsored by Enterprise Bank.  Although I was honored to be nominated for Entrepreneur of the Year, I was really impressed with the individuals who made it to the finalist stage and ultimately won. Entrepreneurs to truly emulate!

Tedy Bruschi was the keynote speaker and he gave a great speech on never giving up.  After suffering a stroke, Tedy came back to not only completely recover from his stroke but went on to play again for the New England Patriots.  His story was truly remarkable and full of humor and highlited the strength that we all have to overcome adversity.

Which brings me to my point…we will all be faced with adversity at one point in our lives.  How we handle that adversity is what will set us apart.  It might be cancer, or a stroke or possibly death of a loved one.  No matter what it is, we have a choice on how we handle those tought times.

Tedy Bruschi is a true role model on how to come out of adversity and come out on the other person stronger than ever!

The difference between the two and how you see yourself is significant if you want to be making more and more money. When you are the driver you know you have the power to control how your life turns out. When you are the passenger you feel powerless to control your life and believe that life “happens to you.”

The first is a prosperous mindset and the second is a poor, scarce mindset. Can you feel the difference?

My intro …Rise Above Mediocrity… comes from the belief that we have the power to create the kind of wealth and success that we want in our lives. If we believe the opposite, then we have to know that we are the creators of the mediocrity of our lives and along with the struggles around money and success.

The poor, scarce person’s mindset is one in which they fail to take responsibility for what is happening in their life. They play the role of victim…now, wait a second before you send me an email and scold me…I didn’t say they were a victim, just that they play the role of victim. I don’t believe anyone is a victim. People play the victim because they think it will get them something in the long run.

Now I’m sure that no one reading this is of that mindset, but you might know someone who is. Victims leave three clues that people in the driver’s seat can spot very clearly. See if you can notice these three clues in people you feel are playing the role of victim when it comes to their destiny.

Clue #1 – Blame

Victims love to look at everything before (if they ever!) look towards themselves for why they are not making the money they claim to desire.

They blame the government, the stock market, greedy investors, the company they work for, God, the type of business they’re in, their parents — in essence everything and everyone EXCEPT themselves.

It is always easier to blame others than to look towards one self.  But the problem is that when you are looking outward you NEVER have an opportunity for self-growth or personal reflection – which, by the way, is the foundation for being in the driver’s seat!

Clue # 2 – Complaining

Complaining is a colossal waste of time.  Not only is it a waste of time, but it’s one of the worst things you can do if you are trying to create wealth.  Why?  Because what you focus on expands according to the Law of Attraction, of which I am a firm believer.

When you are complaining, what are you focused on?  The NEGATIVE!  So if you complain that you are broke — guess what?  You’ll be broke.  If you complain about how you can’t seem to bring in any new clients — guess what?  You won’t be able to attract new clients to your business.

Have you ever noticed how complainers usually have terrible lives?  I know a woman who always complains; she never takes responsibility for anything and loves the phrase, “But I didn’t do anything wrong.”  Guess what?  She didn’t do anything right either.  She has the most miserable life of anyone I know and luckily, I don’t see her very often — and that’s by my choice.

Stay away from complainers — they will suck the life out of you.

Clue # 3 – Justifying

We all know what a justification or rationalization sounds like.  It’s those words that people will use to explain away almost anything they can think of that hasn’t quite gone their way.

I love when I hear people say, “Money isn’t really that important.”  Really?  You’re kidding, right?  The only people I know that ever make that statement are people who are broke.  For the rest of us, we know that money IS important.

People with money understand the place of money in our society.  They don’t need to make stupid rationalizations that money isn’t as important as love.  That’s like saying my hand is more important than my ear…how ridiculous.

You can’t pay your mortgage with love, or buy food with it, or do any philanthropic work without it, so stop deluding yourself into believing that money isn’t important.

Blaming, complaining and justifying are stress reducers so that it doesn’t feel so bad for being broke and a failure.

So the next time you hear yourself blaming, complaining or justifying, stop yourself immediately and remind yourself that you are in the driver’s seat of your life.  Remind yourself that you are creating your financial destiny.

Do you want to be mediocre or phenomenal?  Do you want to be a victim or do you want to be wealthy?

You can’t be both, so decide today!

At the Maximizing Success Wealth Retreat I had the pleasure of meeting and hearing Omar Periu (pictured here on the left) speak on the 6 Reasons That Hold You Back From Getting What You Want.

Now when I tell you what the 6 reasons are I am willing to bet that you will be able to identify with at least one of them.  Here goes:

1. Fear of Failure – A lot of people that I know will say they are afraid of success, but I know that is hogwash.  What you are really afraid of is failing!  Failing, and possibly failing again, is far worse that succeeding.  I mean really who is afraid of success?  If you are afraid of failing you must find a way to dispel the fear so that you can focus your energy on getting what you want.  Remember, fear is just an emotion and it has no basis in truth.  Read my newsletter due out tomorrow for more on that topic.
2. Pain of Change – We are stubborn creatures and many of us despise change.  Fortunately, I have never been afraid of change; I actually like change and the excitement it brings.  You don’t have to find change painful.  You can recognize it as a natural part of the cycle of your business.  Nothing stays the same and within change is the opportunity for growth.  When things stay the same, so do you and so does your business.
3. Self-Doubt – The reason you have self doubt is that you haven’t learned to listen to your intuition.  You haven’t tapped into that inner wisdom that is inside of each one of us.  When you learn to make decision and to trust your inner guide, self doubt vanishes.  This is a skill that you must cultivate and practice.  But trust me when I tell you, once you can master it you will never doubt yourself again.
4. Blaming - Whose fault is it anyway?  When things go wrong stop blaming others and start looking at yourself.  There are always two people involved in almost every situation.  I had (notice the word had) this friend who would say at every self created disaster in her life, “But I didn’t do anything…it was so and so’s fault.”  Ugh!  She never, and I do mean never was able to see where she had created all the drama around her.  Next time you want to blame someone, do a self assessment and see where you might have done something differently.
5. Justifying - Justifying, like blaming is just the victim’s way of not taking responsibility for their situation.  I love when I hear people say that money isn’t’ important.  Really?  I don’t know about you, but I think money is very important.  When they use that justification it means they are probably broke and that they are not taking responsibility for their circumstances by going out there and getting what they want.  Think about it next time you hear a justification from someone or better yet, when you use one yourself.
6. Complaining – If people spent as much time on finding the solution as they do complaining about their circumstances, well – wouldn’t it be wonderful.  Imagine all the happy and productive people there would be out there.

We all have things that we want to accomplish.  If any of these 6 reasons resonate for you, I challenge you to examine your thinking and to stop the complaining, justifying, and the like and take positive action to reaching your goals.  If you don’t, who will?

I wish, I want, I commit. How do you start a goal statement?  Do you wish it will happen, want it to happen or commit to making it happen?

The language that you use and the feeling associated with that what you say has a big impact on your ability to reach your goals.

Take for example, if you wish that you could make $100,000 in a year chances are you won’t because you are only wishing for it to happen and there isn’t much effort behind wishing.  In essence, all it takes is sitting there and hoping that the money will fall from the sky into your lap.  Even though we learned that wishing makes dreams come true, I’m here to tell you it only happens in fairy tales.

Wanting is a bit better.  When you want something, like wanting to make a $100,000 in a year, you are willing to put a bit more effort in achieving it than the person who is still sitting around and wishing for the money.  But wanting still lacks something critical.  It lacks that powerful energy that moves us from wanting to really making it happen.  It lacks YOUR commitment.

Saying, “I commit to making $100,000 in a year means that you are taking your responsibility in achieving this goal seriously.  Think of it this way…when you make a commitment to your children to take them to the zoo you know that if you don’t you will really be letting them down.  You know that you have made a promise to them and that your integrity is on the line if you don’t follow through.  The same thinking applies to achieving your goals.

Now alot of self help guru’s will tell you that you must keep your commitment and I agree, but we all know that for some reason or the other often times we break our commitments.  Usually it’s because we don’t have the personal resources to ensure we maintain integrity in our commitments.  Does this sound familiar?

Here are a couple of tips to help you maintain those commitments so that you CAN reach your goals:

1.  Don’t Rationalize – When you break your next commitment (and I hope that you don’t) don’t rationalize your behavior.  In essence, rationalizing is acceptance of what you know in your heart and soul to be wrong.  Every time that you rationalize, and therefore justify your behavior it makes it less likely that you will keep your commitments in the future.  With every rationalization you lower your standard of an acceptable life and make it harder and harder to keep commitment in the future.

Instead, acknowledge that you didn’t keep the commitment, think of ways that you can ensure you don’t break your commitment in the future.  Figure out why you broke the commitment in the first place and learn from this experience.

2.  Come Up With a Plan – Figuring out why you break your commitments is a very important step in gaining the resources that you need to keep them in the future.   Brainstorm all the reasons why you failed in keeping your commitment and then develop a new strategy so that you don’t repeat the mistake.  This helps to give you a plan for your future and increases your chance of success.

3.  Try Again – Now that you have rid yourself of rationalization and have a plan on how to not fail at your commitments in the future, it’s time to try again.  You have new tools at your disposal and you can keep your commitments as you retrain your brain into moving closer and closer to your goal.

Use the “commit” language when developing your goals and commit to keeping your commitments and you will see a vastly different business a year from now.

Do you believe you are courageous? Does the actions you need to take  in your business make you feel afraid?

Well don’t worry because everyone one of  us has an abundance of courage. Too many women entrepreneurs don’t believe that they have courage.  But almost every act in business requires courage:  raising your fees, sending out that book proposal, asking a new prospect to come to a meeting, and signing a new client.  Creating a successful business requires courage! Agreed?

People mistakenly think that if they feel afraid that they don’t have courage.  The opposite of courage is not fear; you can take courageous action and still be afraid.  The opposing force of courage is doubt or uncertainty; and this is what will keep you stuck or sabotage your success.

When you are clear that you are going to raise your fees you are courageous.  When you are clear that you are going to send out that book proposal you are being courageous.  When you are clear that you are going expand your business you are being courageous…get the point!

What courageous action can you take a  stand on  in your business?    What do you need to get clear on today, tomorrow and the next?  I want you to choose  one thing that you desire clarity on.  Get clear in your choices and then choose.  Know that the act of choosing is a courageous act.