Transformational Acceptance
June 8th, 2010 | 
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The other day I was on a coaching call with a client; I’ll call her Mary. Mary was lamenting how she had so many weaknesses that prevented her from being successful in reaching her goals. This isn’t the first time that I have heard this from Mary. She often focuses on her perceived negative qualities and it has become a real stumbling block for her.
Do you have any qualities that you perceive as negative? I used to. Heck, in fact if you asked me to make a list of all the qualities I have that some found annoying or just plain awful, I bet I could fill a page.
But what I have learned is that the same qualities that I thought of as negative are really strengths in the right circumstances. For example, say one of your perceived negative qualities is that you are a wimp. When might being a wimp be a positive attribute?
I once read a story of a man who didn’t want to go drinking with his buddies because he was afraid to be in the car with someone who was drinking and driving. He told his friends that he had a date…he was a wimp…he didn’t want to tell them he was scared to go. That evening his friends got into an accident while driving drunk and one was killed. Being a wimp saved his life.
When we separate ourselves into “good” and “bad” we fail to recognize the importance that all parts of ourselves are necessary. When we can accept all parts of ourselves we can stop hiding…we can be who we are. It is in the acceptance of the “perceived bad” that we are transformed.
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I love this blog post, it definitely resonates with me and I guess if I think about it some of my negative qualities like procrastinating can have a positive spin to them. Especially if I don’t do something and then it changes and I haven’t wasted my time doing it twice.
Love your posts!
Jenna
Hi Maureen,
Great post. Our greatest strength is our greatest flaw. And that’s o.k. Flaws are beautiful, too. You just need to view them from the right angle to catch the light.
For the longest time I denied my rebel nature. The day I turned around and embraced it was the day I came alive.
Thanks! Giulietta, Inspirational Rebel
The message here is so important. In self-acceptance we find self-forgiveness. In self-forgiveness we find self-love. When we live in love with ourselves (in the truest sense), we are living fully and responding in the world from a loving place.
To truly love ourselves we must truly love and accept others as they are. It is in building our relationships and connections that we really shine. Our true purpose moves through us and projects into every action and activity. It becomes cyclical. to reach out in love is to make room for love to move in…nature abhors a vacuum. There is no spot where God is not.
If we make room to allow and accept it all as part of the plan…there is no fear, only faith and possibility.
In love,
Lucia
The “wimp” quality can be very helpful. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, full of difference. Our uniqueness has a purpose, there is a problem that each of us is created to answer, a need each of us is destined to fill. I don’t like entering vacant buildings alone. So, I teach others how to do all the work that is needed before and after looking at the place and they can bid with eyes wide open too. Because of my timidity, other people learn how to buy houses for pennies on the dollar and I am more secure.