Posts Tagged ‘Self Care’

What is it about women; they have the hardest time saying NO.  I used to be that way, but not anymore.  I learned there is real personal power in saying NO and not always doing what other’s ask of you.

Look, the reality is more than likely you are overworked, stressed out and at your wits end.  The requests pour in faster than you can keep up.  Your family demands your time, your job and coworkers demand your time and if you are an entrepreneur, well you understand the demands all too well.

The secret to getting rid of the feelings of overwhelm and dread is to learn to say NO to new commitments and to stop feeling guilty about it.

Want more time for what’s important?  Want to know how I did it?  Then keep reading and learn my simple tips to learn to say “NO” and mean it!

Tip #1:  Be Polite and Firm

There is no reason to be a b—ch about it!  A simple, “I’m sorry I can’t do this right now” is perfect.  You don’t need to be overly apologetic or defensive which is typically what newbie Noers do.  You vacillate between feeling bad that you have to say NO, to feeling angry that someone else is infringing on your life.

The trouble is it really is your own fault that you feel this way; when if you start learning to say NO you will see you reduce the stress and the burden of always being put upon.  Remember, you teach people how you want to be treated.  Standing in your power and saying NO is a way to show others that you are not at everyone’s beck and call.

Tip #2:  Don’t Justify Your Answer

In the beginning the people who ask the most will ask for an explanation.  You don’t owe them one!  I repeat, you don’t owe them one!

Recently, I was asked to be a speaker at an event.  I looked over my business plan for the year and new that it didn’t fit with my overall marketing plan.  I graciously thanked the person who asked me to speak and declined.  I didn’t justify the NO in any way, shape or form…and you don’t need to either.

A simple, “It doesn’t fit into my schedule” is a perfectly acceptable response.

If they push for a reason just repeat, “It doesn’t fit into my schedule.”  If they keep pushing walk away if you have too – they’ll get the message.

Tip #3: You Can Think About It

You might be uncomfortable with the idea of answering NO immediately.  If you want time to review your schedule, or think about whether this is something you want to do just say, “I need to check my schedule; I’ll get back to you.”

But remember you need to close the loop and get back to the person as soon as possible.  If you must decline in an email, that’s ok.

Most importantly, this tactic helps you avoid letting yourself be pressured into over scheduling your life and taking on too much stress.

Tip #4:  Remember To Take Time For You

There are only so many hours in the day.  This means whatever you choose to take on limits your ability to do other things. So even if you somehow can fit a new commitment into your schedule, if it’s not more important than what you would have to give up to do it (including time for relaxation and self care), you really don’t have the time in your schedule.

Taking time for you is one of the most important parts in learning to say NO.  When you give yourself the space to stand in your power, you are giving yourself the best gift of all.  Say NO and mean it and start feeling in control of your life!

If you haven’t noticed it has been several days since I posted anything on my blog.  That’s because I was the recipient of a negligent driver smashing into me at 40 mph while I was at a dead stop.  I have been spending the last several days getting better and recovering.  Although nothing too serious resulted from this accident it does take longer to get back to normal the older I get.

Because I have had a tremendous amount of time on my hands (I have been spending my days sitting around icing my neck and back) to think about self care.  My thoughts during the past few days have been a combination of thinking about my business and thinking about the importance of taking care of myself.  I know I should have put the business thoughts aside but it was terribly hard to completely let go.

What is it about women entrepreneurs that makes us feel that we can’t or shouldn’t take care of ourselves?  Although all the women business owners I know sent me messages about “resting” and “taking good care” I know that most if not all where thinking about what they would do if they were derailed for a few days or longer.  Thoughts like: “How long will I be unable to work?” and ” What will I do about money?” can often fill our heads when we are self employed or worse yet the soul provider for our families.

After thinking about this for days I firmly believe that part of “taking good care” means having a business plan that doesn’t solely rely on you to physically “work” all the time.  This means creating a solid plan with multiple streams of income so that when you are “down and out” the money is still flowing in!  My business plan does have multiple revenue streams and I continue to develop other possible streams of income for my business.  What does yours look like?  Let me know.

Be well and thanks for the well wishes!

Sunday is my absolute  favorite day of the week.  I don’t know what it is about Sunday, well,  I take that back.  I do know what I love most about Sunday!  It’s my one day to do absolutely  nothing and not feel one iota of guilt.

If you are anything like me, you work hard  building your business, marketing effectively and keeping up with social media all in attempt to have that phenomenal business and life of your dreams.  But if you work yourself into the ground, you will end up despising your business because it does nothing but suck the life out of you!

What do I suggest?  Do what I do.  Make Sunday or at least one day each week a day where you give yourself permission to not think about your business.  Shut the cell phone off and  give yourself that well deserved rest that you not only need, but deserve.

When Monday comes, you can look at your business with a fresh perspective knowing that you took care of yourself first.

What do you do to take care of yourself?  I would love to hear from you.